One of my cousins is facing this dilemma and has admitted that it's so hard. The rest of this post was written to my cousin who I love, for her family that I love...but maybe, it'll help some of you, too.
Ok, some low down dirty tips from a long-time Homeschooler.
1. Find your piece of peace. (looks like you are doing it...keep doing it...expand it.) This needs to be a MAJOR focus because otherwise, you lose heart.
2. Establish a quiet time. This is not for them. I don't care if they nap, but this probably shouldn't be time for electronics. For at least 1 hour and ours was 2 hours until Monkeyface was about 9 (so Bean was in high school) everyone needs to go to their room or quiet space and read or draw or quietly practice their instrument...or school work that they LOVE...not the hard stuff...this is a great time for those things that strike their fancy and they want to read more about.
Quiet time is a time for you to unplug. Maybe cook or clean if that gives you joy, maybe nap, maybe read...the key thing is y'all need a break from each other. And it needs to be nearly every day, or you will never be able to enforce it gently.
3. This is the last thing. Don't let your curriculum run your life.
This one is VERY important or you'll be angry and they'll be angry. The teacher is NOT in your home. You are. Look at the workload and cut it by 3. In these first weeks as you are learning how to go about this...in your mind commit to the first 1/3 of the work...THIS 1/3 is getting done come hell or high water. NEVER tell your kids this. But 1/3 is good enough this week.
Plan short lessons while they need you so much. No more than 20 minutes at a go...and then dance party or whatever (remember when we hula hooped?) The first few days it'll feel like you can't get it done...this is normal...don't give up. In time...could be a couple of days...could be a couple of weeks...they'll be far more independent. So in these short lessons figure out what each can do alone and insist that they do. If there is nothing in the curriculum, download a color page and insist that they color alone for 10 minutes and insist that they color on their level...no frustrated scribbling. (I said "Do it nice or do it twice" 50 million times)
Understand, what you are fighting is not an inability but a habit. If they were in school, every minute was directed. You are giving them their autonomy back and frankly, they don't want it.
It might take them 7 hours to do school work. But you need to recognize that the teacher didn't plan for them to work 7 hours. The reason they work 7 hours is because they dawdle, or cry, or don't understand, refuse to understand, or can't focus, or they giggle, or smile at their momma, or make up silly jokes, or or or. My kids actually only WORKED about 1/8 of the time for YEARS. This is normal, just being a kid. Don't be frustrated with it. For the most part you are teaching character here. The academics are NOT that important. But the, "Oh, that was fun and funny, why don't we get back to it for awhile" that is the source of life in everything we do over the rest of our lives, IS the important thing.
One other thing. Nearly every Homeschooler I know talks about the second being worse than the first or later. Not the second kid. The second day of every new schedule is the worst. The second week of any new activity is the week you just can't get things finished...the second month, the second year (although, not the whole year, but stuff comes up and you think...AH, hello you rotten second). Plan a little more peace in your lives on those seconds. Third and Forth and Fifth are coming...seconds are stupid (literally, every Tuesday was the worst day that we worked through).
My kids are in school this weird year for the first year in their school career and they are knocking it out of the park. I was a little worried because the last couple of years of homeschool were bleak with all the horrible things that happened that we just couldn't overcome. Bear has made straight As, and has a couple of 100% in full classes (I didn't even know that was possible) and Monkeyface has one B that she is fighting with and makes her mad, but all the rest As. I talked to them yesterday, Monkeyface finished everything the school gave her by Monday at 5pm and Bear lazed around and had everything finished by 2 on Tuesday...and now they are drawing and gaming and whatever.
For years I tried to teach them to do the work and then play...for years they fought and fought and fought and used all their free time fighting and finally did the work. You are in the fighting time right now. It'll come around, I promise. If they don't do a single academic thing...they will be fine.
Just do the three things...
1. Find your peace
2. Enforce quiet time
3. Don't allow anyone to dictate your life (curriculum). Keep moving no matter how much gets done.
This can be the very best most wonderful time in your life...but it's a lot of work.
Love you, Auddy-Girl
And for all the rest of you homeschooling out there. Welcome to the family! Sometimes it sucks. You are not alone. But every single minute of it is worth it.
See you around,
Stack
