Thursday, February 17, 2011

HAIR - Vindication.

What may not be well known to those of you who know me only electronically...or have only known me as an adult...is that I'm REALLY not that into hair.



I know. I'm a girl. Hair and shoes are supposed to matter. Bubba has more shoes that he ACTIVELY wears on a day to day basis than I do...probably 3 times as many pairs. And, until the last 2 years, HE has always used more hair product (except conditioner) on a day to day basis than I.

Here's the deal...I was BORN with Barbie-Quick-Grow hair...case in point...


Yep...there I am, somewhere under 6 months old with more hair than most 2 year olds possess. (We won't speak of the hive on my mother's head.)

Because of this hair-o-mine...I've always known that ANY haircut...any style that I could dream will be short-lived...even if I liked it...but especially if I hated it.

A few more examples for your viewing pleasure...

My senior picture...


Some weeks, maybe months, later for my senior group shot...I'd gone even blonder...I'm the girl with the sunglasses center frame...


Round about this very bleached time, I put blue gel in my hair for a spirit day at school, not realizing that my very dark hair, when bleached very blond, would become a straw and suck up all that blue...and it would keep blue-ish green streaks until my mother took pity on me and got my hair reverse-weaved. I have no pictures of that traumatic event...Although the memory of the BLEACHING gives my brother joy to this moment.

I've had LOOOOOOOOONG hair and short hair...actually, I had shorter hair than Bubba when we met...


I'd had straight (that's how it grows out of my head) and curly...


So when I had three daughters, I realized that it was possible that at least ONE of them would have some wild hair...and I should probably figure out how I feel about it...so here are my rules about hair for my kids.

1.) If I have to DO your hair...it has to be long enough for a piggy tale...and what's more, I'd prefer you keep your hair outta your face so I have scissors and I will cut bangs before you are big enough to tell me not tah.

2.) Once you are big enough to do your OWN hair...you should do it how you like it. If you decide to cut it...I don't want to hear a single word. NOT one. You chose it. If you don't like it...it'll grow. If you would like a very expensive style...save up...hair styles cost money.

3.) I will continue to do your hair for you upon request for special occasions, but should never EVER be expected to have to support your style with egg products (for instance a particularly large mohawk).

4.) You may color your hair any old color that you choose, so long as you pay for it yourself...I only provide temporary spray for whimsy and special occasions. If you do not LIKE your hair color. NOT one word. See number 2

5.) If I HAVE something to say about a particular style...you really REALLY should consider my experience before you disdain my advice...

Because WHEN you and I discuss how incredibly uncomfortable the Justin-Bieber-long-bangs-that-push-to-the-side-style would be...and I say something WISE like, "That's gonna bug you...and get greasy from you pushing them out of your face...and feel like there are bugs crawling on you."...and you disregard me...When, later, you say, "Mom, my bangs are really bugging me, could you trim them?"...I will mock you.

See ya around...

3 comments:

Peach said...

Do you speak from experience?

Stack said...

But of course!

CrossView said...

BAHAHAHAHA! Love the rules! My youngest teases me about my "80's hair". No matter what style I get, it ends right back as, well, 80's hair. ;O)