The Cry in the Dark...

DUN DUN dduuuUUUUUHHH!

Scary title, huh?  I'm impressed with it myself, especially considering my topic today, which isn't actually scary at all.  Nope!  Totally delightful.

See, in the last few weeks, I got a roommate.  Well, I GOT her (them) last week...but we've been chatting about it for awhile.  I'm not telling you about HER right now, I'm not even going to talk about her 3 kiddos right now.

This one is about weird ol' me.

See...my roommate is working early this morning.  She left like a half hour ago.  Total Wee Dark Early.  As she left, she said to me, "Just get the biggest girl to change the baby, give him a bottle, and take him over to Mimi's when he wakes up."

Hmmmm.

Biggest girl is 10.  She is fully capable of taking care of her baby brother.  Mimi lives JUST across the street.  Roomy wanted to give me the chance to sleep in because she is awesome and considerate like that.

BUU-uut...I have the monitor and I can make a bottle...and can change him...and he likes me...and he is a smushy baby who grins and giggles...and I haven't had a baby to smush in my very own house in the Wee Dark Early in such a very long time.

So here I sit, in the dark, watching the monitor for those lights that bounce when there is the teeniest noise.  Nothing.  He's sleeping.

I'm not gonna lie, I kinda wanna poke him.  But then, I kinda dozed off.  Just a little.  It's dark and cozy and those lights are soft and kind of soothing.

I think it's funny how life changes how you feel about things.  I remember having to wake in Wee Dark Early with my own babies.  How I dreaded it.  I mean seriously, different place in the world, different couch, looking at slightly different lights, but same position, waiting for them to wake.  I remember the moments that I DIDN'T wake up before one girl or another cried.  That hot and cold startle that brought me out of sleep.  I also remember waking up just a little bit too early and watching those lights so that I could grab that KID before she really got wailing.

I don't think I always considered the joy of snuggling. Mostly, I could NOT believe I was awake again...hadn't I just been awake?  I remember wondering whose big idea the whole "cherishing" thing was and building extremely cogent and eloquent arguments about how it was not possible in the moments of sleep deprivation to actually "cherish" the baby...there was feeding and burping and cleaning completely unromantic stuff up going on before my brain was fully functional.  And I remember being just a little bit crabby, all the time.

Something startled me awake.

And then the lights jumped...and there was the swishing sound of a baby rolling over...and the little, "I might be awake" noises.  I LEAP to my feet...turn off the monitor...go and scoop him up.  He's a baby soft and cozy and I hug him a little closer and sniff his sweet little neck.

And then I change him and go wake up the biggest girl.  She turns over and I see her grin, and he reaches for his favorite big sister.  She plunks him down beside her and stretches.  In a few minutes, down they come, on their way to Mimi's.

As I watch them go, I realize that it is wonderful to have a sweet baby in the house, but it might be even more wonderful to have a sweet Mimi JUST across the street. ;)

See ya around...